How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others – Lessons from a 9 Month Old – Billie Cornell

How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others – Lessons from a 9 Month Old

We know that babies don't develop in the same timeline. 

One baby may walk at 10 months and another at 15 months. Both are normal.

For the past month I've been watching my 9 month old grandson while my daughter is looking for a new babysitter. 

What a great time to have this opportunity to see him develop. 

It the past month he has learned to sit up by himself, scoot, crawl, wave bye bye, high five, and make the cutest little scowl you've ever seen on demand. He's also baby talking up a storm.

All in a month!

My daughter, Amber, worries that he is behind.

In April of 2004 we adopted our middle daughter, Sarah. She was 3 at that time and surprisingly developmentally right on target. The other families in our adoption group were adopting 9 month old babies.

We were in a hotel conference room in central China, eagerly awaiting the babies appearance, when the orphanage caregivers brought them to us. 

I remember them coming into the room, one caregiver with a baby at a time. The other families were trying to figure out which one was theirs. All they had was photos of their baby when they were 6 months old. 

Sarah was easy to spot, she walked in on her own two little feet holding the caregiver's hand with a very nervous look on her face. 

As they called out each family and child's name the families would come up and receive their child. 

There was lots of excitement and crying from both babies and parents. 

Over our two week stay in China, we got to know a lot about the other families and their new babies. We did almost everything together as a group.

At 9 months old, none of the babies could even sit up by themselves, crawl, eat solid food, and I don't remember any of them interacting with a smile or chatting in baby talk like my grandson does. 

They hadn't developed these skills because of the environment that they had been in. They're developmental level was more of a 3-6 month old.

After we came home we stayed connected to most of the families we traveled with.

After just 6 months of being home with a loving family these baby girls had all caught up to "normal" development levels. Even exceeding what would be considered "normal".

They were walking, smiling, eating regular foods, and doing the normal things that a 15 month old would do.

What would have happened if these families had gotten these babies they said; "Wait, this child isn't up to par with other 9 month old babies." and they changed their minds about adoption?

Seems absurd! 

These babies had been in an orphanage for 9 months of their lives with one caregiver looking after 10 - 15 babies at a time. They would not be at the same development stage as my 9 month old grandson. The environment was totally different.

Don't we do that very same thing when we compare ourselves to others? 

Especially as network marketers and entrepreneurs.

Believe me, I've done it.

I've said to myself... 

"I'm not as far along as this other person is and we started at the same time."

"We're doing the same training, we should be at the same place."

"This isn't working for me."

What I didn't know, is that they had 2 plus years of other training that they invested in previously. 

The comparison wasn't accurate. Our environment was different. 

But it doesn't mean I can't catch up.

If you've been comparing yourself to others, thinking you aren't as far along as you should be.

#1 Quit comparing yourself to others.
When we compare ourselves, we are doing it from a place of lack. We think we aren't enough. Instead of saying, I'm not good enough, add a "yet" to the end of the sentence.

#2 Look at the facts of where YOU are at now compared to where YOU started.
What would happen if every day or even once a week, you wrote down something you learned. If we are improving ourselves everyday, learning one new thing, we are growing and getting better.

#3 Give yourself some grace.
This is a big one. How many times do we give someone else grace but we forget about ourselves? We are our own worst critic. Get an honest answer about your journey from a mentor, coach or friend. 

#4 Be realistic... 
with how long it will take you to learn a process or skill and then be honest with yourself... Do you have everything you need to get where you want to go?

I have people asking me all the time... "How long did it take you to find success?" 

I don't answer because success is in the eyes of the beholder. We each define success differently.

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